Close Encounters
by Algol H
Summary: When a visitor shows up for Robin, Kid Flash sets out to find the Boy Wonder. But when the speedster finds Robins, he stumbles upon an awkward situation.  Humor.


**AN: I intended to put this up before both Halloween and the episode Fail Safe(loldreaming). Obviously, I didn't manage to. Also, I never got a chance to flesh things out or edit anything, but if I don't post it now it will just be way too far away from it's time of relevance. I hope you enjoy it regardless.**

* * *

><p>It was another afternoon at Mount Justice. Captain Marvel was out playing with Wolf and the Sphere. Artemis and Miss Martian were enjoying some downtime in front of the television. Aqualad was off with Red Tornado inspecting some of the cave's infrastructure. And Kid Flash was looking for Robin.<p>

"_Ricardo,__" _spoke a blond, well-dressed woman from the television, _"__I__ have __been __waiting __for __this __moment __my __whole __life!__"_

"_Cecilia,__"_ answered a tall, excellently groomed Hispanic gentleman, _"__You __cannot__ speak__ like __this! __People __might __hear!__"_ he gestured at the lavish dinner party in the background.

"_I__ don__'__t __care __if __people __hear!__"_ the woman responded, _"__I __just __want __you __to __hear!__"_

"W-Why doesn't Ricardo understand?" Miss Martian stammered as she plucked another tissue from the box in her lap. "She j-just wants his love! He's the only thing in the whole world that m-matters to her!"

"'Cause he's nothing but a con-man in fancy clothes," Artemis said evenly, "Seriously, she's too good for him and he knows it. I don't see why she's wasting her time on this guy. A girl like her could have anybody she wanted and she's stuck on this joker."

"_Cecilia,__" _Ricardo snapped, _"__Calm __yourself!__"_

"_I won't! I won't calm down until I've said my mind! Why don't you understand? I just want your love, Ricardo! You're the only thing in the whole world that matters to me!"_

At precisely that moment Miss Martian devolved into a blubbering pile of hot tears and blushing. Artemis just rolled her eyes and turned up the volume.

"Hey ladies. Whoa! What happened to Megan? You alright, sugar?" Kid Flash blurred into the room, looking hurried. " Oh, soap-operas."

"Hey, Wally," Artemis droned, "What's up?"

"Visitor for Robin." Kid Flash said, "Have you seen him?"

"He and Conner were headed to the locker room earlier, but-" Artemis started.

"Thanks!" Kid Flash cut across her before zooming out of the room.

"Tch," Artemis looked after him, "Spaz."

"_Cecilia! __That__'__s __enough!__" _Ricardo grabbed her forcefully by the shoulders, _"__You__ don__'__t __know__ what __you__'__re __saying! __I__ am __nothing __but __a __con-man __in __fancy __clothes! __You __are __too __good __for __me! __I __don__'__t __even __understand __why __you__'__re __wasting __your __time __with __me. __A __woman __like __you __could __have __any __man__ in __the __world!__"_

Artemis's eyes brightened. She leaned towards the television. Miss Martian hiccuped and watched the screen with a tissue clasped to her face.

"_You__ were __a__c on-man, __Ricardo!__" _Cecilia grabbed the front of his open, white dress shirt as a dramatic wind blew across them, _"__You __were! __But __after __these __three __days __in__ this __tropical __paradise, __after __three __days __with __me, __you __fell __in __love! __You __fell __in __love __so __hard __and __so __fast __that __it__'__s __changed __you __completely! __The __world __isn__'__t __the __same __place __to __you __anymore. __And__ you__'__re __not __the __same __person!__"_

Miss Martian held out a tissue. Artemis quickly snatched it from her.

"_How,__"_ Ricardo asked, _"__How __could __you __possibly __know __that?__"_

"_Because, the same thing happened to me, Ricardo! I'm no longer a spoiled, nouveau-riche princess from New York, engaged to a man I barely know. I'm now a girl in love. And after tonight, I'll be a woman!"_

The sound of twin gasps filled the room.

"_Cecilia,__" _Ricardo spoke slowly, _"__Are-__"_

* * *

><p>"Are… are you sure about this?" Superboy asked as tiny beads of sweat formed on his forehead. He rubbed his hands on his legs absentmindedly.<p>

"Of course I'm sure, Conner," Robin spat, "I don't know if I've ever been more sure about anything!"

"Right," Superboy said. He scratched the back of his head and let out a long sigh, "Why me?"

Robin turned to the young alien. His features softened. "Because," he said quietly, "You're the only person I can trust."

"But, Wally-"

"No." Robin said, more firmly, "It's you, Conner. Only you."

Superboy looked away from the Boy Wonder's gaze. "Fine," he mumbled.

"Good." Robin nodded. He turned his back towards Superboy and put his hands up against the wall. Superboy took a couple clumsy steps forward. He reached his shaking hands out slowly.

…

"Tsss!" Robin inhaled, "Not so hard!"

"Ah! I'm sorry!" Superboy said, eyes wide, "I've never done anything like this before! I'll try to be more gentle."

"It's alright," Robin sighed, face scrunched up. "Listen, there's just too much there to do it slow like this. You're just going to have to do it all at once."

Superboy's eyes widened further and his jaw hung slack, "You, you really think you can take that? I mean, won't something break?"

"Just trust me!" Robin snapped.

"Okay." Superboy let out a long exhale, "Phew. Alright, here we go."

* * *

><p>Kid Flash was blurring through the corridors towards the locker room. He skidded to a stop in front of the doors. He grabbed the handle and swung it open just as-<p>

"AAAAAAAAH!" Robin screamed a primal, passionate cry, slamming a fist into the wall as his body writhed.

"Oh God!" Superboy yelled, "Oh-Oh God!"

For full second, Kid Flash stared at them with his eyes bulging out of his head and his mouth hanging open. Shaking the shock out of his brain, his mouth found words, "What in the hell are you guys doing?"

Robin and Superboy jumped, turning to Wally with faces full of morbid shock.

For a moment the room was filled with nothing but a thick silence.

Robin spoke first, "This is not what you think."

Conner stumbled backwards, away from Robin, mumbling and shoving his hands behind his back.

"I-Is," Wally stuttered, pointing at Robin, "Is that- What is that?"

Before him was Robin dressed in a thin, black, skin-tight outfit that covered him from neck to toe. Superboy's hand had recently been on the back zipper.

"C'mon," Robin said, "It's not like you don't see me in a form fitting outfit everyday."

"Yeah," Kid Flash shrugged, "but they're usually not quite _this_ form fitting."

Robin stood up. The outfit showed nearly every detail of the Boy Wonder's body. Kid Flash made a point not looking below the waist. Superboy closed his eyes and let out a miserable sigh. Kid Flash noticed and looked at him.

"How'd you get roped into this?" Kid Flash asked.

Superboy looked up at the ceiling with a long face, "I still don't know."

"I needed help with the zipper," Robin said. "I wasn't going to have you do it, because I know you'd be giggling the whole time. I wasn't going to have either of the girls do it because that would be completely awkward. So, Conner was my only choice."

"Hm," Kid Flash scratched his chin, "What about Kaldur?"

Robin made an uncomfortable face, "Dude, I like Kaldur and everything, but, he's Atlantean. I don't know how those fish people roll."

"I'm starting to wonder how you roll," Kid Flash laughed. "I mean, you still haven't explained what the hell this is supposed to be." He pointed at Robin's outfit.

Superboy put his face in his hands, mumbling.

"Tch, duh!" Robin gestured at Kid Flash dismissively, "It's a costume. I'm going to a party tonight."

"Uh-huh," Kid Flash nodded, a superior sort of grin spreading across his face "And you're going as a ballerina?"

"What?" Robin's eyemask widened, "Dude, no! Cat burglar!" He whipped out a black ski hat and a pair of bulky, black goggles.

"Well, maybe the cat burglar should put on shorts or something." Kid Flash said, squinting as his gaze unwittingly moved down.

Robin smirked, "And miss my chance to impress the ladies? I don't think so."

Superboy peeked up over his hands, "More like scar them for life."

Robin turned to Superboy, his eyemask narrowing to match his smirk, "What's the matter, Conner?" The Boy Wonder cat-walked towards the young clone. Superboy pressed himself up against the wall. Kid Flash stuck a fist in his mouth to muffle his sudden laughter.

"Stop it." Superboy said with gravity.

"Why, Conner?" Robin purred as he crossed the last few feet between them. He leaned forward slowly and lightly put the fingers of a hand on Superboy's chest. "Feeling a little," Robin's face feigned thought, "Confused?"

Kid Flash couldn't contain his laughter any longer, and doubled over at the sight of Robin harassing their socially inexperienced friend.

"Shut up!" Superboy shouted at the speedster.

"Heh, chill out, Conner," Robin said in his regular voice, taking his hand off Superboy, "I'm just messing with you, and Wally just giggles when he gets, you know, _excited_."

Kid Flash's laughter stopped abruptly, "Hey! Shut up!"

Robin smirked, "There's no need to get defensive. We all know you like to watch boys in the locker room."

It was Superboy's turn to hold back laughter as Kid Flash blushed through his mask.

"Do not!" the speedster shouted.

"Sure you do," Robin started, "Why else would you be here?"

Kid Flash stood up and crossed his arms, "As a matter of fact, I came to tell you that you have a visitor."

Robin's eyemask widened, "Already? Crap, what time is it?"

Before anyone could answer the doors to the locker room flew open and young magician walked in.

"Jeeze, Wally," Zatanna sighed at the speedster as strolled into the boys' locker room, "You're supposed to be the fastest teen alive, so why am I waiting so long-" Her words stopped as she froze on the spot. Her gaze had fixed on Robin and Superboy. Though no longer touching, they were still standing mere inches apart, and Robin was still in his cat burglar costume.

The three boys followed Zatanna's gaze, and it took them half a second to realize what stunned her. Superboy put his face back in his hands. Kid Flash shoved his fist back in his mouth. And it was finally Robin's turn to blush.

After a couple seconds, Zatanna recovered. Grinning, she put a hand on her hip and said, "Wow, I don't think I've ever been a cover-up before."

"N-No!" Robin stammered, backing away from Superboy, "It's not like that!"

Superboy's hands slid off his face, "Really. It's not."

"Whoa, boys" Zatanna, still grinning, put her hands up. "It's alright! Your secret's safe with me." She winked at them exaggeratedly.

"Seriously," Robin said evenly, regaining some of his cool, "you know it's not like that. I'm not like that." He gestured rapidly from himself to Superboy, "We're not like that."

"Hm," Zatanna put a finger on her lips as she walked towards the two. She looked from one to the other, her eyes squinting in mock appraisal. "Too bad."

Robin and Superboy stared at her, then looked at each other, then back to her. Kid Flash even settled down and looked up.

"What do you mean?" Robin asked slowly.

Zatanna moved next to Robin and bumped into his side. Grinning, she whispered something into his ear. Robin's features fell dramatically. His face turned a delicate shade of red and he stretched the collar on his costume, gulping.

Superboy, with his enhanced hearing, turned a similar shade to Robin, and ran at out the room fast enough to blur.

Once again, Kid Flash burst into a fit of laughter. After a moment, after gaining some control over himself, he stood up again, "Oh man, she got you so good, Rob. And Conner's going to need a counselor after this."

Zatanna raised an eyebrow at the speedster, "Don't get so comfortable, Wally." She narrowed her eyes and smirked, "Or I might have to invite you, too."

For a moment, Kid Flash seemed to be fighting with himself. Internally, it was a struggle between his hormones and his intense fear a woman that could apparently tame Robin.

"I, um, well, you see… I," Kid Flash looked around the room, "I left cookies in the oven! Bye!"

And Kid Flash blurred after Superboy.

…

"Are they gone?" Zatanna asked.

"Yeah, " Robin said after a moment, "I think so."

For a moment there was silence in the locker room. Zatanna looked at Robin. Robin, having collected himself again, looked at Zatanna. They both busted up laughing.

"Let me guess," Zatanna spoke through giggles, "Superboy is going to have to Miss Martian to work out some gender issues?"

Robin, catching his breath, he nodded and smirked, "Which will work so well. Going to the alien who learned about humanity through mid-century sitcoms."

Zatanna's face lit up, "Like, the ones where spouses would sleep in separate beds and gays were 'confirmed bachelors'?"

"Exactly," Robin smiled, "Not to mention that she's a shape shifter.

Zatanna's smile faded and raised an eyebrow, "What are you getting at?"

Robin's smirk faded. He scratched the back of his head and stammered, looking around the room, "Well, eh, I mean... who knows, you know, if stuff matches up, and, well..."

"If his is the only one she's ever seen, what other example is she going to have?" Zatanna finished.

"Yeah.."

...

Twin cacophonies of laughter echoed around the room.

"So," the Boy Wonder collected himself, "We going to this party?"

"Yeah, sure," Zatanna shrugged, "I mean, unless you just want to stay here." She narrowed her eyes at him.

Robin smirked, "As fun as that sounds, I think we're on thin ice enough as it is. I still can't believe your dad let you go out with me tonight."

For the first time, traces of red touched Zatanna's cheeks. Her eyes widened and she looked to the side, "Um, yeah. About that-"

Before the teenage magician could say anything, a booming, magically magnified voice rang throughout the cave, "WHERE ARE THEY? I SWEAR TO GOD, WHEN I FIND THEM I'M GOING TO DE-AGE THEM BOTH BACK TO WHEN THEY STILL NEEDED DIAPERS!"

Dust from the ceiling fell down on their heads as they stared through the walls in the direction of the voice.

"Can he really do that?" Robin asked quickly.

"I really don't want to find out." Zatanna said, biting her lip.

"So," Robin smirked easily at his suddenly nervous date. "Another kidnapping?"

"That's the plan," she said, turning to him. "Just tell me there's a back door out of this place!"

Robin grabbed the rest of his Halloween costume in one hand and one of Zatanna's hands in the other, "How do you feel about air vents?"


End file.
